I haven't had paid work since before Xmas.
People ask what I've been up to and honestly I don't know. I mean on one hand I'm not getting paid for all these side projects I'm juggling, which drift in and out of my schedule, same old same old. But not really, I'm no longer feeling confident about any of my work, and how many of these art projects are actually going to lead to something. In a few centuries all my efforts will be chewing gum on the bottom of a shoe, if I'm fortunate. I work my mind into anxiety paralysis and question my ability to do any work.
You just work like this. You go ask for a job, then you show up, do something, then collect a check. In theory, that's the way it's supposed to work. But the people who cut the checks don't have money. Staying positive becomes crucial at this point, as inertia from negative self dialogue errodes hope.
I guess I'll just keep doing what I've always done, make stuff. Maybe come up with a 2012 survival plan.
Posted with LifeCast